Testimonials > Birth Parents > Danielle

Foreword

Sometimes I meet a family or a birth mother with whom I become particularly close. This happened with Danielle. I view her as a younger sister now. Danielle's story was unique and her placement was one of the most successful and fulfilling placements I've ever had the opportunity in which to participate.

Since she placed her daughter, Kathleen, for adoption, Danielle has been quoted in the book "Adoption Nation" by Adam Pertman. She has also been generous enough to speak at one of my seminars. She is very articulate, and I know from the feedback and watching the audience response that the adoptive parents who were fortunate enough to hear her talk came away with a very different perspective about what birth mothers go through, both emotionally and physically. I want to publicly thank Danielle for her courage in both speaking and doing what she did.

Her gift to an adoptive family was selfless (yes, we both cried buckets of tears), and I will never forget her comment when she left to go home. She said, "It was really hard to place my daughter for adoption. It's harder to leave her adoptive family. They are like family to me now."

A few years later, Danielle is doing great. She is building a career and has met a good man with whom to share her life. Kathleen, her daughter, is the center of her parents' universe.

Danielle's Testimonial

"No one plans to get pregnant and place their child for adoption. An unplanned pregnancy can be a blessing or a curse. It's up to you, the birth mother, to decide which it will be for you.

For me, abortion wasn't an option. I wasn't in a position to parent at that time. My father had died, and having lost my mother years earlier, I felt pretty much alone in the world. When I became pregnant, I didn't get any support from the birth father, either emotionally or financially. I felt that the only option that I could live with was adoption. I view Kathleen as a blessing. She was a special gift to a family who otherwise would not have had the opportunity to be parents. She is their pride and joy. She will be given a good education and all the things a child should have. Aside from material things, she is given all the love she can handle. She will always know how much I love her.

Her birth was a blessing for me as well. I think of that time in my life as a stepping stone. I grew up a lot. I brought a life into this world -- a very special life (who knows what she will contribute to this world?). I met some people who changed my perspective on things. I have bonds from that time which will last a lifetime. And while I learned that not everyone has your best interest at heart, I also learned how to tell who does.

There are good reasons for placing a baby for adoption. The obvious ones for me were that...

1) I didn't believe in terminating an innocent baby's life...it wasn't right for the baby or for me,

2) I didn't have the financial means to provide for the baby and

3) I wasn't emotionally ready to be a parent.

It wouldn't have been fair to either of us. So, I chose to be the messenger of good news. I don't regret my decision for a moment, although I won't pretend it wasn't the hardest thing I've ever done. But nothing worthwhile comes easy. Yes, I've paid my dues. By doing so, I can say that this is my proudest accomplishment.

If you decide that adoption is right for you, then you're in the right place. I can tell you from experience that there are agencies and attorneys out there who won't put your best interest first. I was with one of those agencies before I contacted Tina. Adoption professionals can treat you like a business or they can treat you like family. If you're here, then you already know that for Tina, it IS a labor of love."

-- Danielle