Adoptive Families > Single Parents
Dear Single Parents:
“I am
a single mother. My daughter was born on June 4, 2005 and I finalized
her adoption on September 22. I knew I wanted children but I was ambivalent
about a spouse. I briefly considered artificial insemination, but health
problems ended that adventure. I decided I wanted to pursue adoption but
I had never heard of single parent adoption. 
I first called several families I knew in the area who had adopted. They all sang the praises of their agencies, but then informed me that their agencies did not work with single parents. I researched overseas adoption but the cost was prohibitive and the wait was extensive. There were also some countries that did not allow single parent adoptions. I was adamant about wanting a newborn. The more I researched, the more disappointed I became. I found a few agencies that would gladly work with a single parent as long as I was willing to take an older child.
I had
just about given up on the process when I spied an ad for a seminar about
adoption in Erie in March of 2004. This was my introduction to Tina. I
was struck by how confident she was that there were newborns out there
and that single parenting did not need to be viewed as an obstacle. Right
away I felt a connection. She and her staff were so adamant that single
parents do get chosen. The information that was passed out that day even
had a list of single parents that had worked with Tina who could be called
for a reference. Tina and her staff never once made me feel like I was
making a bad decision and, in fact, Tina encouraged me that there would
be birth mothers that would be attracted to the fact that I was single,
independent, and financially secure. 
I became active in June of 2004. This was when I started to openly discuss my choice with family and friends. My family was so excited and supportive of me. It was a little different with some of my friends. A few wanted to know what gave me the right to bring a child into an already "broken home". I was shocked at that one. I got a lot of questions about how I was going to take care of child without a man around. I figured I would take care of a child the same way I had been taking care of myself since I graduated from college. Eventually, most of my friends came around.
In April 2005, I sent Tina my monthly check-in e-mail and she replied that she just had a feeling that my time was coming. Talk about intuition! I received a phone call at work from Tina the first week of May. A month later on June 4, Delaney Grace was born. Delaney is bi-racial. She is African-American and Hispanic. This threw a few of my friends for a loop but everyone quickly adjusted. This was actually a difficult decision for me since I live in a very small town that is not ethnically diverse. Tina talked me through this and it all came down to wanting a child. Those who loved me would accept my baby and no one else mattered.
I have not regretted my decision to single parent. I admit there are times when it is difficult. I took my mother with me when Delaney was born instead of taking a spouse. I have no one at home in the evenings to relieve me if I am having a bad day. None of those things made the moment any less amazing. I have not dated since Delaney arrived and I at times wonder how that will go. My guess is that most will assume I delivered Delaney and it will never be an issue. Who knows? I know that I can provide for my daughter and I know that she will get as much love from me as some children get from two parents. Every time I look into my daughter's eyes, I know it was all worth it. I also know that when she grows up she will see me as a strong, independent woman who did whatever it took to be a mother, her mother.”
--Kim
A Note from Tina: Single parents often believe the “myth” that they will not be allowed to adopt or that no birth mother will choose them. This is simply not true, as evidenced by Kim’s story. It is true that some adoption services or agencies do not accept single parents. We work with all families and single parents who can obtain a valid, up-to-date home study. If you are a single parent and want to adopt, give us a call and talk with us about your heart’s desire.
In closing, let me say that I would enjoy working with you to help you attain your goal of adopting a child. I am the mother of three children and I have experienced the heartbreak of repeated miscarriage and fetal demise and can fully understand the depth of your desire to become a parent. I have references available and I encourage you to contact them. Whether or not you choose to retain A Labor of Love Adoptions, I wish you the very best in your endeavor to adopt a child. If I can be of assistance in any way, please feel free to contact me. You can reach me at the Adoptive Family line at (951) 674-8400 or you can fill out our online form.
Sincerely,
Tina Tyra
Director/Facilitator